Okay loves, here's the real, raw, Renee.
I want this to be a place of complete comfort, a sisterhood and a place without judgment. By sharing some of my own journeys, I hope this can allow you to find strength and inspiration when sharing your own life story with me.
Where to begin...
I was born and raised in Mackay, QLD, Australia. A small beach town, a place where people fish and thrive off camping. Here I grew to love the great outdoors and found peace amongst the trees, rivers, beaches and found a deep consolation with mother nature when I needed it most.
I'm one of those women who had daddy issues (long story short - alcoholic, abusive and from the age of 12 brought much fear and emotional wounding). This subsequently lead me down a destructive path of teenage anorexia, bulimia, drug abuse, and many other vices... sorry mum!
Loss is inevitable
16-year-old Renee found a wonderful person, who swept me off my feet and made my weak and battered soul feel whole again... A place to trust, to feel and to escape. Unfortunately, he too had significant vices. 2 days before the wedding bells struck, I lost a very wanted beautiful baby at 9 weeks. My heart broke, I crumbled. I knew the day and moment that I conceived. I had a blighted ovum (where the baby just disappears), I believe this was because it just wasn't the right time.
For many months after losing my baby, I felt incredible heartbreak. I wanted to be pregnant so badly, my friends and family were all growing their families and I, a young 'healthy' woman, couldn't. This took me on a journey into the natural fertility world.
During this time, I was studying metaphysical science (the philosophy of abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space). I had spent much of my time trying to improve my responses, understanding myself, my perception and learning about different philosophies and religions. I had found deep gratitude for yoga and meditation. I was practicing daily and knew that my current partner's habits, perceptions, and actions were incredibly unhealthy for me to continue with.
I lost a lot of money, my home, my car, my dogs, my life as I knew it. It was time to rebuild.
While studying Nutritional Medicine and Naturopathy, I knew that I had to make an independent life for myself. The endurance through these 5 years was long and tedious. I suffered from my father dying, divorce, job redundancies, sexual assault, an abortion, falling into a fire and burning the majority of my back and arms, a stolen car, a flooded home that put me homeless for 4 months, and many other trials and tribulations.
All the stress initiated a fun little condition called acne and polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). *Uggghhhhhh* This in itself caused mental health issues, anxiety, depression, and self-worth/love depletion. I couldn't even look in the mirror without feeling disgusted, ashamed, and self-hatred.
It was time to take control of my life.
What did I want? How can I get it? I would be awake at night with incomputable anger, resentment, and longing for happiness. My outer exterior shouted "Hey everyone! I'm happy, fit and doing great", whilst my inner goddess was depleted, angry, sad, hurting and full of self-hatred. A constant battle between self-love and self-hate consumed me.
I would take pictures every day of my acne, comparing it with the day before. Tracking everything I ate, taking endless amounts of supplements, working out every single day, reading and doing everything in my power to fix it. The stress of that just made it worse, luckily, after finding food intolerances/working on gut health and hormones.
What I came to learn with healing, is that mental health and a holistic approach are what make a healthy person.
Our mindset, perceptions, and environment all play an integral role in our bodies, this cannot be underestimated. We need to be constantly evaluating and filling our lives with all of the small things that make us happy.
Supplements and nutrition alone cannot provide a happy and healthy life. We cannot take 10 different supplements and eat kale every day and heal our inner goddess. Our pain, suffering, emotions must be validated, accepted and confronted - which is why this is such an important part of my life. I want to support women from all around the world, I see you, I feel you and we can move forward together.
Sisterhood is a powerful connector, allowing ourselves to incorporate deepest aspects and receive love, empathy, and guidance on a regular basis can change life significantly. Combine that with nutritional medicine, herbs, environmental changes, meditation, sunshine and reconnecting to our body - it can only go up from here.
You are loved, you are brave, you are fierce and you are a warrior.
It's time to slay life, life like the queen you are.